Konbanwa, mina-san~

It's Yoko-chan again (and I guess you all shouldn't be surprised), and I want to thank you all for bearing with all the "random" rants I have been venting out to you.  Gomen...  Maybe you all are tired of reading or listening to me whine or mope around over such problems...demo...I want to sincerely thank you all for having so much patience in reading out my feelings.  It means a lot to me that people like you would be interested in hearing out this little kokoro.

Anyways, I just want to let you know that I have confronted this "fear" of mine, and I guess I've overcome it.  I learned a lot from this "fear" through reluctance and force and a slap to reality itself.  I still am saddened by the aftermaths and what has happened during this long period of frustration, in dealing with the situation.  In fact, I have seen too much of what I didn't want to see.  In fact, I never knew...how many people have hurt me until this point of time.  And still, I am willing to forgive them and open my arms up for them.  Gomen.  Maybe they think they don't deserve it, but I'm sure--it takes a lot of strength to forgive just like that...than to keep dark grudges against them.


And I'm sorry.  I guess being honest and loyal wasn't good enough to keep a friendship going strong.  I always thought if I was "nice" and "honest" and "loyal", things would be okay always.  I mean, when Mizu-chan told me the story of "Hachiko", a dog who died waiting for his owner to come back, I was really sad...and the weirdest thing was I thought I had a lot in common with Hachiko-chan.  But in many ways, Hachiko and I were also different...  Anyways, I came to accept with the harsh realities that I simply cannot be the sweet little "observer" that I used to be.  Instead, I was forced to realize that sometimes, I have to step up...and take action against such situations--that sometimes, I have to be firm and speak up and be blunt with those who "crosses the line." 

I was forced to "grow up."

But it was okay.  At least, for me.

"Change."  It makes people "grow up."

But it depends on what kind of "change" it is, you know.

...And here I am, still standing and smiling.

At least, that's the image I want everyone to think of when they see me.

Because, mina-san, Yoko-chan's not going ot be here forever.

She might one day not be here anymore.

She has places to go to.

Just like how you too have places to go to.

Just like how you may not be here anymore, also.

And yes, I forgive You.  It's okay.  Daijoubu.

Maybe we can start over again.


- Yoko