It's been a while, mina-san, when JJ-niichan last wrote to me.  I wonder what he's doing now in Chuugoku? I hope the baka's not pushing himself too hard in his teaching and travels :/ Buuu... I miss JJ-nicchan so much ;o; I wish he'd write more often...and maybe send more pictures of Chuugoku itself too? Muuu...demo...that's too much, I guess ;( That baka...

I've also been waiting for Anemone-san's e-mails from Nihon too, but I guess since she's teaching full-time and studying more Japanese--it's understandable :/ Muuu... I miss you, Anemone-san.

Anyways, ohayo~ mina-san :D

...Genki desu ka?

You know, lately...I've been looking at those around me and missing those old faces.  On top of that, I guess people are beginning to think that I, as Yoko-chan, don't really take things seriously when I need to at the most unexpected times.  I think people seem to misunderstand that I take things "too lightly" especially if it involves a significant hobby or such.  But I'm already being as "serious" as I can be with Life, already--unless you want me to commit sepekku =___= (Did I spell that right, Nishiko-kun?)

I feel like that not only is Nishiko-kun is feeling "left behind", I too am becoming a mere "memory" in the mind of others.  I don't mind, becoming a "memory" as long as I leave a really strong impression, demo...demo it doesn't mean I like it.

Recently, I'm feeling pushed away by a few friends here and there.  I wonder...if I'm just a klutzy Yoko-chan, who slows them.  Sometimes, I ponder...upon my "usefulness" to them, you know.  I don't know why but that's how I think when I feel as though they are purposely pushing me away.  It seems as though whenever I need their help, they would put their hands in their pockets and try to walk farther into the path they've set on going into.  Whenever I want to talk, they would merely shrug or nod their heads.  But that's not what I wanted.  I wanted a "friend"...however, why is it...that I feel as though they don't want to be my friend anymore? They'd talk about other people and get really happy about it.  When it came down to me or those around us, they would frown and mutter about trying to get away from us.  Or how they are no longer needed.

But...why? Why would they talk about how "other people" need them more than Yoko-chan and those here? We're right here, aren't we? Are we really that insignificant? Really that un-important? Really that "useless" to you now?

How would they feel if I have a new "friend"--whom I'd hang out with instead?

It's awful.

Isn't?

So, I wonder...am I completely "useless" now?

Sometimes, I wish they would sit down and talk to me, so we can explain ourselves better.

They don't want to listen.

Why listen to klutzy Yoko?

...and I wonder...ponder...about my "usefulness."


...But I guess I still have the Others.  They never made me think this way.  I wonder...what does that make you, then?  A someone who makes Yoko feel this way.