Hellou your friendly neighborhood nerdfighter Mizu here.

Well things have been kinda crazy here in happy town, but in a GOOD way. Last weekend was the AHP as Yoko Chan has already told you about *sniff* I’m still so touched *puts cards in a glass case* and this weekend was the semi annual cosplay yardsale, which Saka, Yoshi, KFC and I attended.  And well, it was quite the “leap of faith” For me. (Yoshi: You like to say that a lot lately. Me: Don’t be hating on my lines!).

I guess we’ll start with a little bit of backstory on your little water drop. When I was in middle school I absolutely LOVED to read The Princess Diaries books, I collected them religiously and ate them up, I finished the first four in a week. I was enthralled and inspired by Mia’s journey through life, going from Awkward NYC teen to awesome Princess.  She was always talking about how plain she was, how low her standards were for herself and how she needed to achieve “Self Actualization” (self confidence).  She knew she wasn’t confident and was always ragging on herself, but by the end of every book she grew more and more into the confident hero that I looked up to. I’ve never been that confident in myself,  and in a way, I thought of myself as Mia, but still in her ugly duckling stage, even up until now, some odd years later, I haven’t really thought I achieved that “self actualization” that I desired, that I needed. Until today, or rather Thursday.

As you can tell dear reader, we in the fun jam are in a Haruhi Suzumiya theme lately and on Thursday as we girls (me, Yoko-chan and Saka) were rifling through Yoshi-kun’s deck of Haruhi playing cards (for what the fifth time that week?) we stumbled upon a picture of the girls trio (Haruhi, Mikuru and Yuki) in their infamous bunny suits. We were commenting and making fun of the picture while my big mouth runs away with me (I talk to myself out loud, a habit from being a sheltered baby methinks) and says “Oh my gosh I actually have everything to make that cosplay”

Yoshi: *perks up* scuse me? OuO

Being a dancer I really did have everything to make Haruhi’s bunny outfit (body suit and everything), and it would take no time at all to finish.  I explained that to Yoshi and well, if you have ever seen the wallflower, you will know just how RADIANT that CREATURE OF THE LIGHT!!! WAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *melts from the pure light of Yoshi’s shiney face*  And then my big mouth runs away with me more and says “I might do that for the yardsale” *tapes her mouth shut* and then sakana goes “okay if you do that then I’ll do yuki” to which Yoshi’s light grew SO MUCH STRONGER THAT IT SENT ME TO KINGDOM HEARTS AND BACK! Long story short, Saka and Yoshi ganged up on me and I was backed into a corner that was bunny suit =.= Oh gods……

……fast forward to last night, or rather after yesterday afternoon. Upon some thinking, I could feel “Mia” creeping up on me.  Did Saka and Yoshi say for me to do that cosplay because they really wanted me to do it, or were they making fun of me?  I talked to Yoshi about it before we parted ways for the day and he said “-le sigh- Honestly, whatever you want to do and makes you feel comfortable” =____=. I was TRYING to tell him that if he really wanted me to do that cosplay then I’d do it, but I guess he didn’t get the message.  

Incase you can’t tell dear reader, the confidence issue I’m struggling with is my body image, I’ve never been of the same caliber as say Sakana or Yoko-chan and well, I’ve had to deal with shit my whole life because of it. I like to think and say that I have a thick skin………………..but there’s only so much one girl can take. And Saka, she’s seen me do “revealing” outfits and such I mean, I’m comfortable with my girlfriends and even some of my boys seeing me like it, but when it comes to new people, especially those I haven’t really gotten THAT comfortable around (and by comfortable meaning lived together for a week)………..the insecurity sets back in and EVERYTHING resets. But I nipped it in the bud and said “Fuck it I’m doing it!” This cosplay I had been trying for over a year for Saka to do with me but she never agreed till now, I wasn’t going to let this opportunity pass me by. So we two girls met up on skype and stayed up working on our respective outfits.

Fast forward to this (Saturday) Morning, I wake up, take my shower, go back into my room to change and I’m staring down black tights and a black body suit *tumble weed rolls by*. I put it on without thinking and then I look myself in the mirror, full body, and I can feel “Mia’s” dread. Maybe this wasn’t such a hot idea, Yoshi’s favorite is Yuki so it’ll be fine if only Sakana does it…… Heck I wanted to crawl back into bed and not go at all. I felt like such a fool and coward…. Again I said “FUCK IT!”, I pulled on jeans and a sweater over the outfit and went, plus I was Sakana’s ride. =0= I got to her house and I helped her piece together her outfit, and she was so excited to do it, I was in shock and awe and disbelief. I know Sakana wouldn’t do this to make fun of me. It had to be alright…………right?

We finally got to the yardsale and the first thing we see is Yoshi sitting  on the curb with another friend. I went from being the cool princess of Genovia to the awkward teenager from New York in two seconds flat, my stomach was in knots (well it coulda been that my breakfast as a couple bites of banana cream pie at Saka’s house), my limb’s were trembling and I could barely speak. We went inside and said hi to some other friends and Sakana pushed me into the bathroom to change. Really, she pushed me. Inside the bathroom I was still trembling and it felt like I was going to cry. I was scared out of my wits about a stinkin cosplay! PRINCESSESS ARE NOT SCARED OF WEARING COSPLAYS! It wasn’t just Yoshi I was scared of now, it was everybody who was there. What if they look at me funny? What if they laugh at me? What if they’re mean? I didn’t want to leave that bathroom let alone reveal what it was that I had on underneath my jeans and sweater. Sakana wouldn’t leave me alone though (and there were people waiting for the bathroom), Begrudgingly I shed my protective layer and ventured out into the fray………………..as a bunny girl.

Yoshi had another LIGHT OF KINGDOM HEARTS!!!!!!!!!!!!! Shiney face moment and thanks to BellDandy* we had an impromptu mini photoshoot with him (He was cosplaying as Koizumi) and his sister and her friends.  After tap dancing a bit to let my stress out; I realized, hey, I’m not the princess of Genovia, I’M THE LEADER OF THE SOS BRIGADE! And I let “Haruhi” come out to play and told “Mia” to go back inside for princess lessons.

Needless to say, I had fun today, I got to hang out with my friends, FINALLY did that bunny girl cosplay, had some yummy sweets and even got some REALLY cheap things (AND FREE RAMUNE!), the only time I even thought about the costume was “Oh shit my ears are getting loose” or “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWW FUDGEMONKEYS MY FEET!”…………..yes I say “fudge monkeys”……….. Sakana changed from Yuki into Shiemi halfway through, but I never changed. Even when we were at the pool I even heard Yoshi say that I pulled it off well.
Yoshi: *puts hand to heart* I’m touched *wipes away imaginary tear*

I’m still not entirely convinced he really thought that, but as someone once told me, SCREW WHAT EVERYBODY ELSE THINKS! I’ve wanted to do this cosplay for over a year and I did it bogdammit! >:D

So, like Mia Thermopolis, I achieved self actualization. In a really crazy way I did it. I went from the awkward kid to Princess of a very very very teeny tiny small leetle bite size, microscopic (Mia and Grandmere: ALRIGHT WE GET IT!) principality in one day. PSH! I was better than that, I WAS HARUHI FREAKIN SUZUMIYA!!!!!!!!!!!!