It's been done. 

The others and I will never give up.

And like ashes, we will rise from beyond obstacles and become a phoenix.

With the Fire burning within our hearts of our passions, of what the rest of us stood for to the very end.

But mess with Fire, and you're bound to get burn.

Abuse it, mishandle it, and try to play with it.

We're not the FUN JAM anymore.

At least not in appearance.

We're a whole new cast of people, of changed people, with different Hearts now.

But the principles and images that the FUN JAM had represented will always be engraved into our hearts, our memories for many years to come.

- your Yoko

こんにちわ, mina-san >:3

Yoko-chan at your service >:3 As of this year, I will not continue studying Japanese after the spring semester :/ It's been a real hassle even though Japanese has been really, really fun :o I made so many fond memories with the people of my Japanese classes--even though I took that course, not knowing a soul :o I hope for my friends' success in what they want to do with that minor :3 So, がんばって!!! >o<

Can you believe that it's already been over a year? And so much, so much has happened since then :o

I know I'm supposed to be derpity-derp but here's the thing: Throughout the year, I always happen to go back to all of those places where the FUN JAMMIES used to go.  For example, just this past Saturday--during a cosplay yardsale at Forest Park*, I wandered off...and there it was--the very same spot where Anemone-san, the Twins, Nina-chan, Takuto-kun, and I had our sunny picnic.  That was a year ago, mina-san.  I felt...a bit sad, seeing how far away things seem to be within a mere year.  While taking all of this in, I just sort of sat down across the spot--remembering how much I had laughed that day, how we all ran around, lying on the grass without a care in the world... How the Twins climbed up the trees and hid our food up there and how we bonded so much within just that day.

And now, yes, Yoko-chan is going to Fanime in the next month coming up.

Time's a bitch =o=

But it's okay.  I may have fallen many times, got a few cuts and even scars--won't stop me though from participating in thee BIGGEST cosplay events of the year >:o

This time, I'm going with Tsukasa, my いととう!!! I hope that he'll be able to enjoy this con for sure since this is going to be his first time, cosplaying with us >:3

...and Synchroncity Len >////< !!!! He...actually wants to meet Yoko-chan ;o; He wanted Yoko-chan to go to Fanime... He's so cool, I can't present myself unless I'm in my most LEGIT cosplay ;o;


-Your flustered Yoko ;///;

Spring Break had finally ended for us about...uhh...since Sunday at approximately 12 am OuO/ ~!!!

Jaa, did everyone had fun?

NOTE: All soundtracks as shown are fan-made by max05233157~ 

Just something I thought you should all listen to before we hit off Spring Break. Exams are finally over, and I just got my Japanese exam score back!!! >:3 I am an officially "A" student in that class ;__; I'm just a little worried about what I might've gotten in that Art History (Prehistoric) exam I took yesterday (although I AM confident that I got at least a "B" there).


I have officially picked out a path that I am willing to do almost anything for: Art. Now, I just wonder how far I can get with the motivation and hard work alone. I am currently working on a 36" X 48" canvas, using a picture that I took last spring. It's turning out pretty good, but I have "failed" myself recently by accidentally putting the wrong color in certain areas. *sighs* Frustrating...

If people would like to know what I have learned from this whole school year so far, it is...

1. Take risks. You never know what might happen.  I mean, you don't know at all unless you try.  I'm not talking about doing stupid stuffs like drugs or alcohol >.> One of the things I had to accept was that when you take risks in Art, you can do really awesome things--make awesome things that you wouldn't have done or accomplished if there was no risk involved.  Make smart risks.

2. Trust yourself.  Not that I am saying that everything you do or think is right.  Another lesson I learned in my Drawing class is that as an artist--and even as just a normal person--you have trust your instincts, intuition, yourself.  If your intuition was wrong, then, it's wrong.  If something doesn't feel right, it's probably that: it's not right.  With all the dramas exploding everywhere this past year, I had some difficulties in learning to trust myself again.  It took guts, but I did it.  Trust yourself.  You may know yourself even more than anyone else could--and if you're confused about yourself, ask those around you.

3. Conquer your Fears.  Sure, by now, you should know this.  It is easier said than done.  As an Art student, I had to conquer my Fears when applying that into drawing and painting.  Conquering your fears lead to taking risks and even trusting yourself.

4. Be open-minded.  If I thought I was "already open-minded", I was wrong.  Women Studies and Art classes in one semester? Stressful... I'm still a little "iffy" about the WS class, but I admit that I saw aspects of life that I didn't see before because of it.  Being open-minded means going outside of your comfort zone at according to your own pace.  No rush.  It takes time.  You feel uncomfortable--sort of like walking alone in a town you've never been in or a new mall or an anime con.  But eventually, as you start interacting with the subject, you'll get used to it.  Be open-minded.

5. Be opened to others' critical feedbacks.  Whether the problem is about you or your art pieces, it's always good to have critical feedbacks from peers.  For me, it helps me become a better artist--knowing what I need to work on, knowing my own strengths, and what's wrong with the piece D:  Sure, it can sting a little or make you cry--but be strong, suck it up, and be ready to take on the verbal opinions of others.  These kind of feedbacks are supposed to help you, and if they're not, you're surrounding yourself with the wrong people.

-your Yoko-chan

That's right, mina-san.

I suppose that most of you must've been tired of reading about all the "drama"/problems by this time or maybe some of you are appalled by Yoko's sudden decision of postponing her blogging habit for a while.  It won't be long, mina-san, as you all would soon be reading my life perspective/stories again.  But seriously, as a busy college student, I have many important matters to settle during this period of hiatus, such as prepping for midterms, do some patching-ups with myself, work on my art, essays, and such ;___;

I hope that you all aren't sadden by this (Of course, Paco-san, you wouldn't be~ lol), but I shall soon make my return--perhaps after Spring Break? Our spring break takes place on the first week of April :3 I'll be on a camping adventure with Mizu-chan then, and when I blog again, I'll fill you all in XD





-Yoko-chan :3

Ohayo mina-san,

I recently stumbled upon the fact that there's going to be a summer Walt Disney internship program this early morning... O.O Not only that, I also got done with looking up the campus tour schedule for 2012 at CalArts.  In addition, I've been working on my art--doodling here and there, testing out colors, just trying to polish my skills.  I don't know what everyone else has been doing...  I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow or next week or what'll happen even later on today.

What's going on?

I just talked to my major advisor last week, mina-san, and I told him what I wanted--what I wanted to strive for, where I wanted to go, what I really am looking for.

He said there was no place here for me then in such a small world.

I don't know what's going to happen to me later on in the future, but I'm willing to give everything I've got and show it to everyone.

I've been criticized before, harshly, brutally, and kindly.  I can take it again.  I can stand up to it again.  There was once a time when I refused to draw because of a verbal attack--but that's not gonna stop me again.  Never.

Ever since that Day, I admit that it's been quiet and sad and lonely.  I want everything to go back to normal too, Mizu-chan; however, I don't think anything good will come out of it if we just do that now under the current circumstances.  It's a bit depressing, and I'm still angry about everything--so angry at people...but at the same time, I think it's the best choice that we were all forced to accept.  Maybe our Time had come.  Maybe not.  Maybe this is just the "Beginning."  Maybe this is just the "End."  No one knows.

But I do know this for sure: Mizu-chan, Sakana-san, and I have changed.  And maybe it's that Point where we three were given a set of new paths this year to choose.  One of us didn't choose to be with the other two; the other wanted to take the steady middle route; the youngest decided to run up ahead the third path which occasionally converged with the middle road.


Happy doodles,

Yoko-chan


P.S. I hope that whatever path that we three continue to walk down can meet up occasionally in the future before us, all three converged at some point, one point of our lives.  We had good times.  We really did.

When I first met Ichiro-kun, I thought he was THEE "weirdest, most abnormally, unsually happy-smiling-faced" guy I had ever met int the world and in my life.

I didn't want to have anything, ANYTHING to do with Ichiro-kun and his world.

But little by little, as I got to know Ichiro-kun, I realized that maybe my habit of not being to trust people in fear of trickery, self-illusion--was all nonsense.  Most of it, anyway.  So, I reluctantly followed his lead, and along that New path, I was introduced to Sakana-san.  And Mizu-chan.  And Hikaru-san.  And Anemone.  Nina.  Everyone.

I had never been so happy, felt so warm, felt so much love and loyalty...that I nearly cried when people who I barely even knew were asking about my day, giving me Birthday gifts--Christmas--souvenirs, hugs, everything that I had always, always wanted in a FRIEND.  They loved and cared for me--unlike any other person, any other group of people I had met in my life.

They were the first to accept me for who I truly was.

And little by little, the more I got to know them--the more I loved the Fun Jam.  But at the same time, there was that FEAR in my heart...that if I got too close, it might all just be a dream.  I didn't want to wake up.  No, that was a horirble thing.  Somehow...I knew deep inside if I got too close to people, they'll hurt me in the end.  Something bad had always happened.  Nothing's ever perfect.  What goes up must come down.

So, I tried to treasure every moment with the Jammies.

Anemone left to teach overseas in Nihon.

The Twins got busy.

1 year later...

It wasn't even a year, perhaps in January--that when everything, everything that we all had built up as a group--went downhill.

I loved everyone.

But maybe...not everyone loved me back.

I gave up whatever I could to make everyone happy, trying to be always there for them.

But maybe...not every one of them had that same thought in mind.

I learned the hard way--that not every person in the world would think the same way as I would and that not everyone would want to walk down the same path I wanted to walk--right or wrong, nice or mean, loyalty or disloyalty, noble or not noble at all, etc.

I learned the hard way--and remembered--why I NEVER had a lot of female friends.  Huh... I thought that was only because I was a mere child then, but even now...I guess the entire world will always have people like that.

Sometimes, when I see old pictures of us, I wondered...and often second-guess myself about certain people--whether or not they WERE being "true" to us, to me.  Whether or not everything was real.  I sometimes think about everything we went through and how it's lead to all this.  A pitiful cliff.

The changes we all went through, individually.

For some, the BETTER.  For others, the WORST.

I mean, I learned my Friendship values as a person from "Pokemon."

I loved that show so much as a kid, because I learned so much from it.  I would cry at every movie that came out while growing up, laugh at Team Rocket for their silliness, keeping my eyes out for Pikachu and his adorable adventures, and smile when there's a happy ending and a lesson learned.

And now?

Today?

I guess everything was a dream, after all.  I have nothing much to believe in now.

What I want for Sakana-san is to learn how to be a better friend.  She promised so many times.  Those many times--she failed miserably, worsening at every hanging promise.  I want to her to look over the basic ethic rules: honesty, respect, kindness, modesty.  I also believe every GREAT cosplayer must respect other cosplayers--whether emotionally, through physical expressions (No glares, please), and such.  It doesn't matter how GREAT of a cosplayer you are, if you don't respect me--I don't give a two-shit about you because you're a jerk = JUST a jerk in a costume. Done. 

And really? I don't think we should even debate whether or not we should choose the camera over a friend. 

I love cosplaying (In fact, I need to finish that Magickarp costume), but I only love it because of my friends.  It IS nice to be in the "spotlight" once in a while or get recognized; however, it can be utterly annoying or stressful too.  Friends are more important.  Real friends actually care for you and look after your health, asking if you're alright or if any jerk touched you in any weird way--or if you get lost, they actually go back and look for you, saying, "How did you get lost? Where did you go? I called you but you didn't pick up! Is your phone on SILENT?!"

In addition, people don't appreciate it when you try to steal their cosplay/gift ideas.

*Sighs.*

It is like that time when my cousins told me that Santa doesn't exist.  Or worse, he's "dead."

Only worse.

I never had a friend like this one.

Because I always left at the First sign.


-Yoko